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The Rule of Thirds

2/5/2017

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Have you ever heard of the Rule of Thirds? Its origin is an art term, about aligning a subject with guidelines in a painting or photograph. For example, the horizon would go on the top or bottom line if divided into thirds.

Somehow, (maybe they aren't related at all but just have the same name) it also came to mean with anything we do or create, one third of people will love it (or you); one third will hate it (or you); and the remaining third won't care at all.

We are human. So what do we do? We focus on the third that hates/rejects/criticizes us. Then we make it mean something about us. We doubt ourselves, we go over every word and question our actions. Absolutely normal. But also not very empowered.

I am learning a better way with the help of the Rule of Thirds. When someone hates/rejects/criticizes me, I put them in their section. Trust me, if you step out and BE YOU, someone will throw criticism bombs your way. If you write, you will have critics. If you publish a book, you will have haters. I got a one-star review on Goodreads this week thank you very much. If you attempt to change your life, it will offend someone. If you run a business, you will encounter people who tell you you're doing it wrong.

I learned an amazing truth on my journey. What You Focus On Grows

If you feel like you are never good enough and the world is filled with critics, I get it. I really do. I have some amazing, raving fans. <--Thank you, God! I also have a lot of people who don't care much one way or the other what I do/write/create/post, and there are plenty that do not like my stuff (or me) at all.

Empowerment came to me like lightning when I learned the Rule of Thirds! No matter how hard I try. No matter how perfect I try to be. Only about 30% of ALL the people I meet are going to truly connect with me.

How freeing.

Rejected? That's OK, you are in that third.
Criticism? That's OK, you are in that third.
Indifference? That's OK, you are in that third.

I know it hurts. I know it's hard to work through. But the way out is to focus like a laser on the third who think you are amazing. Your tribe. The people with whom you get to be completely you, flaws and all, and are still loved and accepted.

Focus on that.
That one raving fan or dedicated friend.
That one person who loves the heck out of you no matter what.
Your dogs (or cats) who always see you through eyes of love.

What you focus on, grows. Whenever I feel not good enough, I do two things. I think of my nieces and nephews who always look at me like I am amazing and wonderful, and I try to see me through their eyes. Then I do it again.

I learned I can't control when criticism bombs come my way. I have no control over rejection. I don't get to choose who loves me. But I choose which third I focus on. I choose the third who love me, who connect with me authentically, who trust me, who are my tribe. This is empowerment.

At the heart of health and wellness is self-worth and knowing who we are. We cannot let anything or anyone dictate that for us. Why be knocked down by something that is certain to happen? The Rule of Thirds sets me free completely. It says to me I don't need to worry a bit about anyone besides the people I was meant to share this blessed, messy, wild, challenging journey with.

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    Sue Markovitch

    Writer, fitness coach, personal trainer, entrepreneur, work in progress.

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