A few times a year, a number of women contact me to inquire about services at Clear Rock Fitness. The majority of new people come to Clear Rock in late January, May, or September. The first thing I do is set up a time to meet. This way I can give her a quick tour of the studio, explain how personal training works, and find out more about her goals.
Most women sit in the chair next to my desk and are surprised by their own tears as they talk about the struggles they have had with their weight and their health, and how stuck they feel. It is like all this emotion has been crammed into a jar and the lid is on tight. But as soon as we start to talk about it, the lid loosens just a bit on that jar, and all the feelings start to leak out.
This is normal. This is good.
Lie: Talking about this is upsetting me.
Truth: I am already depressed, anxious, and suppressing my feelings. They are running my life. Talking about them is just bringing them to light.
Some women summon courage and buy their first package of ten sessions. They are filled with hope, although very tentative, and are daring to step out and believe, just a little bit. “Maybe this pit that I have dug for myself isn’t too big to get out of. Maybe change is possible for me.”
Lie: I’m too far gone.
Truth: Nope. No such thing.
We set up a training session and I start to pray. I pray that all the fear and lies that she is hit with between now and her first training session don’t overwhelm her and send her running. I pray that she is filled with courage and belief just long enough to start exercising consistently. I pray for healing of old wounds that are keeping her in self-destructive cycles of compulsive eating and inactivity.
Lie: I can just change my thinking.
Truth: Your best thinking got you here. This journey is about your heart.
Some women are ready. They start training and know that the first six months or so is going to be hard. They know they are changing their lives and it is going to take dealing with all the stuff that comes up, all the excuses and lies and fear and guilt and shame and loss and self hatred and unbelief, to keep going.
But most women have no idea what is about to happen. Most women think all they did was sign up to work out. It is not clear yet that every belief they have about themselves, their worth, and their bodies is going to be challenged.
Lie: It’s all about the workout.
Truth: It’s about consciously stepping into the change process. It’s about commitment.
One of the things I find amazing about the women of Clear Rock Fitness is that some of them have been exercising with me for 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 years! They have made themselves a priority, and are keeping the commitment. It’s incredible. And not just because it allows me to have the job of my dreams and a business I love. It is incredibly inspiring to know this is possible at any age, any fitness level, and despite any physical challenges.
Lie: I should be able to do this all on my own.
Truth: We all need support, encouragement, and accountability to stay with this and that’s OK.
It may look like a package of ten personal training sessions. But it’s so much more. It is an opening of the heart. An invitation for the Spirit of Truth to come and heal the false beliefs we carry about fitness and health, worth and being good enough. It is a beginning.
Look, I remember very clearly what it felt like to be in the pit. I will never forget. I believed that it was too deep to climb out of. I believed that I was too far gone and not worth saving. I believed a lot of things that turned out to be false. But two things had to happen for me to begin to heal.
One, I had to take the first step and then another and then another and decide to keep going. Left foot, right foot. I had to commit to staying on the path. Walk. Lift. Water. Veggies. Left foot, right foot.
Two, I had to open my hands and invite the Truth to come into my heart where before, all I had known was fear and false beliefs. I had to begin to believe again; in what was possible, in my worth as a woman regardless of my messed up past, and in the fact that each step I took was good enough. I had to remember who I was. A woman with a trail of brokenness behind her, that was forgiven and made whole again.
Lie: I’m broken beyond repair.
Truth: Miraculous healing is available to all of us. All of us. All of us.