Our conversations are incredibly interesting, mainly because they are rarely about food. Food just happens to be the thing that she turns to, like a lot of us do.
Many of the things she says, are things I've heard over and over throughout the years. Sort of like I know what to do, I just don't do it.
She gives so much time and energy away at a job she does not love. Therefore, when she gets done working, she needs to reward herself, and the reward of choice is food. "I deserve this!"
We've all thought that, haven't we? We give and give. We sacrifice. We work hard. We even violate our authenticy at times for the good of the family or the team. Then we get the ice cream out. Or pour the wine. Or order the pizza. Or whatever it is, and we sit back, let out a long sigh, and think, "I deserve this".
I have no argument with any of this. And I agree that you (and I) deserve it. I would have a huge dish of ice cream every night if I could. The problem with it, is the consequences. Too much food, too much junk food, too much wine, too much anything really, has some pretty major consequences. It is rarely the desire for something that is the problem, it's the over-desire for it.
So what's the antidote to all of this? Do we all really need to quit our day jobs and follow our passion to knit, dance, personal train, make pottery, etc? Absolutely not.
The antidote is radical gratitude, every time. When we fall in love with what is, our suffering ends. We can see the gifts.
How does that work if you are in a job (or some other circumstance) you don't love, or even can barely tolerate? For my client, it involved shifting her perception away from what it wasn't, to what it was. OK so it wasn't her dream job, but it is currently making all her other dreams possible. She travels, helps animals, creates her art, and all kinds of other super cool things. None of those things would be possible without her nine to five.
What happens when we commit to a daily practice of gratitude? A radical shift from lack to abundance! If we all could really see, through clear lenses, what we have and how amazingly blessed we are AT THIS MOMENT, I believe we would either spend our days dancing with joy or laughing hysterically with amazement at the miracle of it all.
The beauty of that kind of abundance-heart is that it FILLS you. It leaves you feeling satisfied, overflowing and at peace. Not empty and craving. A heart like that doesn't need a reward of ice cream or wine. Each day IS the reward.
I am obsessed with a scene in one of my favorite Tom Hanks movies, Joe Versus the Volcano. They've been shipwrecked on their way to the island, and Meg Ryan is unconscious. He's been giving her water, and not taking any for himself. Between that and the hot sun on him, he's pretty baked. But one night, the giant moon rises over the ocean horizon, and he wobbles to his feet, looks up and says: "Dear God whose name I do not know. Thank you for my life. I forgot how big...thank you, thank you for my life."
Seeing your life through eyes of abundance, instead of lack, is a game changer. Take off your old lenses and put some new ones on. See the gifts. Actually see them. Aren't they miraculous? Aren't you amazed? I am.