When I teach my Breaking Free seminar, I start in the small box which I call stuck or my comfort zone. In the case of writing, I could certainly stay in my comfort zone. This class is not required to write my newsletter or to train at Clear Rock. I feel comfortable writing about the topics that I write and I feel like I know my audience. I’m very happy doing what I am doing and I could stay right here.
But so many people have said to me, “I love your writing. You are a good writer. You could do more.” So I’ve decided to step out of the small box into the bigger box of change. I would love to write for magazines and I dream about writing a book.
The first step I decided to take is this class. It’s so fascinating. From the moment I stepped out of my little bitty comfort zone, the fear and lies started chattering to me. This is what I hear:
You’re not a good writer.
Who are you to write anything?
You’ll never figure out this online learning.
Do you really want to share your story?
No one cares about what you have to say.
This will be humiliating.
You will be vulnerable.
A book: are you serious?
You will never succeed.
You’re not safe.
You don’t matter.
So I think to myself, “Hello fear. I know you! And I know you are a liar.”
Just a few years ago, that voice of fear would have driven me right back to the comfort zone, the small box, stuck. I couldn’t take it. The churned up feeling in my gut. The anxiety running through my arms and legs. The sense of insecurity.
But not anymore. I know it’s coming at me. I know what it is. And I’m ready for it. No jumping back to stuck.
So how do you deal with the voice of fear if you want to make a change and get unstuck?
I start with the Truth. I know I matter and that I am safe. I know the first few steps are scary but they will be worth it. I’ve learned the lesson that feeling insecure or scared is no reason to quit. In fact, if I want to grow, I must do precisely that which I am afraid of.
So I access my courage. I know it is there, I’ve accessed it before. My family and friends have helped me know my own courage and strength. Then I plug into my community of support. I am connected to others who encourage me. I tap into that unlimited source of empowerment, by sharing what I’m doing and asking for help. And finally, I connect deeply to the spirit of Love. It is my main source of strength and with it, I take the next steps: left foot, right foot.
I am afraid.
I am also safe and I matter.
And making the choice from my heart, from my authentic self (not from the wounded part of me that believes the list of lies above) I step into freedom. Freedom to choose something new. Freedom to live a more purposeful life. Freedom to change.
I am afraid. Do it anyway.
If you are stuck, I understand completely. I know how stuck feels: frustrated, sad, desperate, tired, giving up, and defeated. I know how it felt to be stuck at a weight I hated. I know how it felt to be stuck in a cigarette addiction I hated. I know how it felt to be stuck in self destructive patterns that brought me pain. I also believe that we can all overcome these patterns, compulsions and addictions. We can be free.
The only thing that can stop you is fear. Don’t listen to it. It is a liar.
So try that new boxing or spinning or hip hop or yoga class.
Try a new healthy recipe or two.
Try getting consistent with your cardiovascular exercise: walk, elliptical, bike.
Try to add a strength training day.
Try eliminating processed foods for three days.
The likeliness that your attempt to change ends wildly successfully is much more likely than you ending in a heap, humiliated. Confront the voice of fear and go with confidence towards the best case scenario. That is where you make changes that last. That is where you finally let go of unhealthy patterns and strongholds. That is where freedom is.
And if I can do it, believe me, you can do it.