It's almost a subconscious thought. I've learned to tune in and hear those, especially dis-empowered ones like this one. I don't want unworthiness beliefs ruling me anymore. Been there, done that.
I want empowerment, self-worth and confidence.
So, as I turn left, I say thank you to all the cars that stopped so I could go, and I say to myself, I'm worth stopping for. I matter. I matter. I matter. All the way into my parking spot, I remind myself that the unworthiness wound isn't true and never was. It's good practice for me, since I came from such a low place.
This week, at the studio, my client came to Thursday Tread and ended up being there solo. I was excited to have her to myself and we had a great time. After class, I mentioned how, next to, "I know what to do, I just don't do it", one of the most frequent things I hear from clients is, "Is it just me? You don't have to be here just for me." To which she confidently replied, "I don't feel bad at all! I really enjoyed it."
I did, too.
A few things I know about this:
1. It was a fantastic response. I'll bet she's been working on that for a very long time.
2. We intentionally have small groups so we can have an impact on you, your life and your fitness. We like it that way. We've designed it that way. If any of us wanted to teach 40-50 people, that's available to us at any large gym.
3. We have good boundaries. You don't have to make sure we know it's OK to cancel if it's "just you". We know.
4. I have developed a practice of texting women who I see are solo on the schedule, to let them know they are getting a one on one, or allowing them to switch to another time so they can train with others. I do this for two reasons. One, some women freak out at the thought of one of us have you to ourselves <insert evil trainer laugh here>. Two, it's been such an issue over the years. I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "Why didn't you TELL me it was just me."
5. We don't think of it as JUST YOU.
6. We believe that things have divinely aligned to put the two of us together for a reason. Maybe to have a one on one coaching conversation that really makes a difference in your day or life. Maybe to get to know each other a little better. Maybe to learn to dead-lift properly. Maybe to overcome this unworthiness and show you that you're worth it.
7. Noticing the voice of unworthiness within us can lead to big breakthroughs in other areas of life. Every time I practice at Cooper Road and Cleveland Avenue, I get a little stronger in my belief that I'm worth taking care of. I get a little less apologetic of things that aren't mine to own. I get a little better at setting healthy boundaries. It's all connected, for me.
8. If you notice a pattern of unworthiness in your own thoughts, you can change by practicing. Next time you feel that awkward feeling because your trainer showed up just for you, turn it around! Say, "YEAH, baby. I get a one one one. This is fantastic and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it."
9. Recognize and receive the gift you've been given. For example, at Clear Rock, a private training session is $89.50. If you get one for the shared or cardio club rate, in my opinion there should be hands up in the air fists pumping wildly!! You just hit the personal training lottery. Receive it, enjoy it.
10. Just you are worth showing up for.
Just you are the reason we do what we do.
Just you are worth more than you can imagine.
Just you doesn't have to feel uncomfortable.
With a little empowerment practice, just you can turn into:
YEAH baby, just ME!
Next time you find yourself in a private session, or at a long traffic light, and the voice of unworthiness starts acting up, use this moment as an opportunity to develop your empowerment muscle by repeating your new mantra: "YEAH, baby. Just me. I don't feel bad at all!"