If I wore them. I don’t wear them. I’ve never worn them.
For 3 years, they’ve sat in my closet. Every so often I’ll feel particularly good about myself. You know, one of those days where you slept great the night before and have been eating clean, drinking lots of water, and feeling lean and mean. And I will think, “Maybe those jeans will fit today.”
So I pull them down off the shelf and wiggle into them. Damn. The waist is so low that, where they sit on me, they squeeze me up and over the top. They ride up. They feel awful. And suddenly I also feel awful and I think to myself, “If only I would cut the carbs and get rid of this belly these would look great. I need to get serious. I need to tighten up my abs. I need more cardio. I need to count calories. I need to quit eating crap. I need to…”
I have other pants that look awesome. They have a higher, wider waist and they fit me and they feel great. Maybe it’s not me, maybe it’s the jeans.
Geneen Roth says:
“Almost every woman I know has three sizes of clothes in her closet. Thin clothes, fat clothes and in-between. The fat clothes–what I call the “just-in-case clothes”–keep you frightened of gaining weight, and the thin clothes keep you waiting for your life to begin.
Your thin clothes, the ones you need a shoehorn to shimmy into, function as baseball bats to the head. Get rid of them. You have enough mean, abusive voices in your head without having to hang them in your closet. Replace them with clothes that fit you now. Clothes that are soft and gorgeous and allow you to feel the same.”
I realized this week that my $100 jeans are a baseball bat to my head and I need to get rid of them. So here I go. I am going to clean out my closet this week, big time. I might end up being down to six items. That’s OK with me. But if I don’t feel great about myself when I put something on, it is getting donated. Right now, this week. And I might end up wearing the exact same pair of pants over and over that fit me great, but I have decided that’s OK with me, too. No more closet torture.
And as I give those $100 jeans away, I am not going to think of it as a waste of money. I am going to think of it as well worth the lesson I have learned. That no piece of clothing is worth giving up my self esteem to. I am taking that power back today.
Want to join me?