For years, I would load up my iPod with music and go run or walk. I did a lot of miles alone, on the treadmills at Metro and the Westerville Rec Center, as well as Sharon Woods and Highbanks. My music was a mix of motivational rock and inspirational, and that combination of music, the words, the truth and my body moving would all come together to create this very powerful, emotional and spiritual experience.
Many times I would find myself bent over, hands on knees, crying my eyes out. Releasing some past hurt or shame, processing more of my grief, expanding my heart as I started to understand how lost I'd gotten but seeing that there was a way out. I knew in those moments that there was a way to a better life. Those moments of experience were enough to keep me lacing up my shoes, loading up my iPod with more music, and getting out there moving.
Fitness was always a part of my healing.
Every time I went, whether it was a mile or ten, I felt better about myself. I felt like I was choosing something that would help me heal, not keep me self destructing. It is a hard cycle to break. That self destructive pattern is so addictive. Seductive, even. This deep, dark belief that if I just keep trying to control this thing, eventually I will be victorious.
What I finally had to see was I can't control my addictions and compulsions. Why would I even want to? I don't want to spend my life trying to manage all this brokenness in my life. I want healing. Radical, freeing healing. The kind where I don't have to think about how or why I got stuck. Where my heart is healed and my soul is at peace. Where I am free to live my authentic life.
Every mile plays a part in this healing. It is a time where I get to experience the Spirit stirring within me, lighting a fire. I invite you to join me in becoming the best, most authentic you possible. Will a mile a day do this? I don't know if it will for you. I think it depends on the connection you make while you are walking or running. Is it to burn calories, or to connect with the Holy Spirit within you? What is each mile for? What do you believe is possible?
I know what's possible. I've experienced it, and I highly recommend a life of freedom, a healed heart, and miles and miles to celebrate!